Adjusting

It's hard being a new mom. You really do forget so many of the tough parts and remember wistfully how sweet it was having a new baby to hold and love. But, the reality is that it is a major challenge and a monumental upheaval to life as you knew it. Everything seems to change to accommodate that new little life.

Kelly has had a couple of challenging days going it alone while Clint is working long hours. It's hard to even count on getting a bathroom break, let alone any rest when you're nursing and comforting a baby much of the day. I do remember those early days and how exhausted I'd be when Gene would get home around 5 or 6pm. I was so ready to hand my little one/s over and get a few minutes of peace. It's especially hard for Kelly and Clint with his very long hours. Both of them are so tired, and Ms. Eleanor is a night owl and won't go for an earlier bedtime.

My guess is that it won't be long until things will ease up. Eleanor will begin to develop her routine and Kelly and Clint will know just what to expect. She'll start to sleep for slightly longer periods at night and everyone will feel a lot better. Those first six weeks though can be a bear.

And though it's not nearly as hard, I'm adjusting too to being without my baby and her baby. I really miss them. It can still be surprisingly hard to be a mom, even when your baby is all grown up!

Missing Eleanor

Got home yesterday afternoon after a really long drive (that's a whole separate story). It was so odd being back in my own house after two months! I didn't realize it would feel so foreign to me. I miss sweet little Eleanor (and of course her mom and dad too!). This house feels so empty without her.

The day before I left, Eleanor had a very fussy day. She didn't want to sleep at all and because of that she was not even happy when she was nursing, sucking for a while and then pulling away screaming like she was in pain. It was tough on Kelly and Clint, trying to find ways to comfort her. I hated so much that I was leaving the next day and I probably wouldn't have left then if the rest of the family wasn't so insistent on finally seeing me again. (I talked with Kelly yesterday evening and luckily after a bit of a fussy start Eleanor got a nice long nap and seemed to be in a better mood.)

Last night, the first night in a very long time in my own bed, I was tossing and turning with constant dreams about Eleanor. I was just holding her and talking to her. I am really missing that sweet baby! Isn't it amazing how in two weeks a baby can so completely fill your life??

Going Home

What a sweet picture! The three were going to attend a reception after the service for the mother-in-law of Kelly's boss so all were dressed up. It turns out that the reception was in a very smoky place so they turned around and came back home. Eleanor was in a good mood so why not have a photo shoot? At least it made getting dressed up worthwhile. We got a lot of great pictures.

I'm sad to say that I have to go home early tomorrow morning. The rest of the family really wanted me home for Memorial Day weekend. Gene has off work, and except for a couple of days when he was here before Eleanor was born, I haven't seen him in almost two months! I hate the thought of leaving, but I'm hoping I see everyone very soon.

I am going to miss holding Eleanor's sweet little body, feeling her melt into me as she sleeps, and smelling her sweet fuzzy head. I can't write more or I'll cry too much ...

Chubbing Up

As you can see by the cute little fat rolls, Ms. Eleanor looks like she is doing quite well, thank you, on her mommy's milk. Every day a bit more pudge appears.

It has been about a week since Eleanor was weighed at the pediatrician's office, but if Kelly's digital scale is right, and I would guess that it is, it looks like she has gained a little over a pound since that visit.

It's no wonder though. Eleanor kept her mom very, very busy that first week with pretty constant nursing and a teeny bit longer stretches after about 1am. The past few days it looks like she is settling into a less frantic pace, though she is still cluster feeding first thing in the morning and in the evening. Perfectly normal for a newborn.

I'm guessing that before long she'll be just as chubby as her mom was, and who doesn't love a chubby breastfed baby??

Out for Breakfast

Eleanor was looking pretty calm after nursing yesterday morning so Kelly decided we could probably take a chance and go out for breakfast. Clint was working all day so it would just be the three of us. As Kelly put Ms. Eleanor in her car seat she started crying. (This was very unusual because she normally loves her car seat.) We were able to calm her by rocking her before we got going and once she got in the car she was happy.

We decided to eat at Toojays and luckily, even though it was pretty late on a Saturday, there was no line. We got to show off Eleanor to Leslie, who has been "our" waitress there for years. She had been wondering how everything had gone since she last saw Kelly several weeks overdue. So, Leslie and other waitresses came to take a look at beautiful little Eleanor and were nearly as smitten as we are. She definitely is loved everywhere she goes.

Eleanor stayed in her car seat for a while, but in typical infant fashion, as soon as breakfast arrived she decided she wanted to get out. I held her while we ate and she was perfect. No fussing at all. We had a great breakfast!

Once her Mom was done eating Eleanor looked like she wanted to nurse. They had seated us in a nice quiet place in the back of the restaurant, so Kelly decided to give nursing a try. The picture above is Eleanor's first in-public nursing, and it went very well. (Though I don't feel you need to cover up when nursing in public, I do love the Peeky Boo Baby nursing cover Kelly used. It is well-made and looks more like an accessory than most of those awful apron-like things on the market.)

She's One Week Old Already

Time just flies when there's a newborn in the house. I can't believe it's been a week since she was born. It already feels to me like she has been here forever. Ms. Eleanor is absolutely luscious. I tell everyone that her head smells like cotton candy. Holding her and smelling her sweet head and touching her soft skin is the best. The thing is, like any baby, her happy place is at her mom's breast! Up until today she was nursing almost 24/7 during the day and getting a couple of two to three hour periods of sleep a night. Pretty exhausting, I know. Today she has been amazingly satisfied. Hopefully she won't try to make up for it tonight. It really does help when you can get at least a few hours of sleep in a row.

Some highlights of Eleanor's first week:

• She has already starred in numerous photos and videos.
  
• She smiles a lot, especially when she's asleep. (At first she alternated between smiles and frowns, like she was practicing her expressions.)
  
• She loves being outside -- a total Florida girl. The first time I took her out on the back porch she conked right out.
• She relaxes whenever you put her in her car seat and hasn't cried yet for a car ride!
  
• She has already lost her umbilical cord. As her parents say, "she's an overachiever."
• In the same vein, she has rolled to her side from her back THREE TIMES -- unbelieveable
  
• Last night she enjoyed the first of many spa evenings, including her first bath (she adored it), followed by massage with organic baby oil.
  
• She enjoys, and is totally calmed by, her Daddy's burping.
• She goes through many, many outfits each day (and the 0-3 month size is much bigger on her then we expected). Luckily she loves being naked for these frequent clothing and diaper changes.
  
• She's becoming acquainted with the family menagerie and has been licked in the face by Riley, her doggie.
• She doesn't seem bothered by whatever her mom eats. We had extra spicy Indian food and it didn't phase her in the least.
  
• She likes being bounced on the birth ball, which she seems to remember from being inside.
• She has eaten out at a few restaurants and was perfect each time.
  
• And most importantly, she seems to really like being here!! She has the best Mommy and Daddy, so it's no wonder!
  

Our Busy Day

Anyone who has spent some time with a newborn recently knows that every day is a busy day, but today was especially busy. Clint was working and Kelly and I had to be out of the house by 10am to get to her checkup at the birth center. It's a challenge to get out the door on time when you have to allow plenty of time for nursing and then diaper changing and then maybe more nursing, but we did it! Eleanor was as happy as a clam. It's at least 1/2 hour ride over there and she was awake and alert the whole time. Not a bit of crying. She loves her car seat. Since she was staring at the gray seat back, I hung her burp cloth with little lambs up so she'd have something more interesting to look at. When we got there Eleanor wanted to nurse again and she got the chance before Kelly saw the midwife. Everyone there loved her. She is so delicious, it's no wonder!!

We had an appointment at the pediatrician at 1:30 so we had some time in between and had lunch at a place I'd always wanted to try - Urban Flats. We split the loaded potato dip and each had a flatbread. It was so good. And, well-fed Eleanor was again perfect and let us totally enjoy our meal, even though another newborn who was "dining" there was pretty darn noisy.

Next stop the pediatrician, Dr. Rich, at Sunshine Pediatrics. We thought we had adequately packed the diaper bag but we fell short when Kelly undressed her, laid her on her soft blanket on the exam table and she promptly peed all over everything. It's so easy to forget how many changes a newborn may need over the course of a few hours. Eleanor's weight is down to 8 lbs 13 oz, which is normal. I have no doubt that by her two-week checkup she'll be right back up to her birth weight, since nursing is going better for mom and baby each day.

So, it was time to head home with positive reports for both mom and baby. As we started to head in, Rob from across the street was outside and Kelly told him that Eleanor is here and is now three days old. He carried her car seat across the street and we went in to show her off to his wife, Kim. Even though Eleanor was getting hungry she behaved herself very well.

There was no nap for Kelly today, and even with sleepless nights she is starting to look like her old self again, and it's only been three days!

It wasn't long before Clint was home from work. He couldn't wait to see his sweet little girl! (Kelly had emailed him a picture of Eleanor in her Swedish kitty outfit while he was at work so he could see just how cute she looked.) He didn't get quite as much chance to hold her this evening as I know he wanted because she was basically going from one breast to the other. I know everyone is hoping that means she'll sleep at least a little better tonight!

Eleanor's Birth

After trying so many natural labor induction methods, Kelly went into labor on her own, probably helped along by her visit the night before to our friend and chiropractor Pat Reed.

Kelly woke up the morning of May 7th and said she had a few small gushes of fluid. She had canceled her midwife's appointment because they stressed her out and she wanted to just relax so she could have this baby. Clint was home so we all went to breakfast at Town House, an old timey restaurant around since the 50s. I'd never been there before and the Greek omelet I got was yummy. Kelly looked uncomfortable, but we made it through a nice big breakfast. This is a picture of her that morning as things were just getting started.


It wasn't until around 2:30 or so that contractions really started kicking in, but Kelly didn't think they were real labor because they felt different than she expected. She had a lot of cervical pain but didn't feel the tight squeezes in her uterus. Contractions were getting a lot stronger and coming around three minutes apart when she decided around 6:30 that she'd like to head over to The Birth Place. It's a good 30-45 minutes away and it was not a comfortable ride for her, but at least there was no traffic. The first couple of hours there was intense, as her cervix was becoming completely effaced so the rest of the dilation could take place. She got in the birthing tub and that helped a lot. Most of the time the midwife left us alone and sat outside the door. Things really picked up in the tub and it was evident that Kelly was moving through transition.




The midwife thought it might be good for her to move to a birthing stool. It wasn't long until she was completely dilated. At this point, with really no good reason, I think the midwife started rushing things.





To make a long story short, it wasn't much more than an hour until Kelly pushed Eleanor's 14.5 inch head out, and a couple pushes later, out squished her shoulders and sweet little body. I immediately knew she was smaller than I expected. She weighed 9 lbs. 7 oz. and I actually thought she seemed smaller, and was 22 inches long. She was immediately put on Kelly's chest where she stayed through all the rest of the goings on. It was very emotional for us all. I've been at a lot of births but there is nothing like seeing your own grandbaby enter the world and watching your daughter become a mom. Finally, sweet little Eleanor was here. She pinked up very quickly and was perfect from head to toe.

Eleanor was born a little after 1am May 8th and we didn't settle into our beds at the birth center until after 4. I don't think Kelly and Clint got much sleep at all. They were holding her on their chests, as she practiced nursing and enjoyed lots of skin-to-skin contact.

We left the center by 10am or so that morning and little Eleanor, with her mom right by her side, was perfect for her first car ride. What an amazing baby, if I do say so myself!


Eleanor's grandpa Gene wrote a little note that he asked me to include in my blog:

Dear baby Eleanor, you have finally arrived! Your Mom, Dad and Grandma had a hard night, but I know it will be worth it. We couldn't wait to meet you, and I REALLY wish I could have been there too. I know I would have been able to offer some comfort to your Mom, but she is very strong and did a great job. Your Mom will be by your side for all of the most important events of your life. We know you will be a happy baby, and grow into a fine young girl and the woman your Mom hopes you will be. So welcome to the world little Eleanor, enjoy life and be thankful that your Mom, Dad and Grandma prepared so much for this special day -- your birthday.
Love, Grandpa

ELEANOR, WE ARE SO, SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE!!

She's Here!!!!

Eleanor Vera Hughes

05/08/09 1:03am

Weight: 9lbs. 7oz

Length: 22"

Mom, Dad and baby Eleanor are doing well, but are very tired! Details to follow in the next day or two.

Confused and Worn Out

Haven't written in days since the mood around here is pretty gloomy. If you go by Kelly's last menstrual period, her due date was April 15, which now makes her THREE WEEKS OVERDUE! I am all for letting things happen, and I do believe that everyone will go into labor when it is time, but this has us both stumped. Even if you go 10 days out, for maybe a super late ovulation, that would still make her quite overdue. (On a very positive note, Eleanor is doing very well. She has had two fetal biophysical profiles and is perfect! Though the ultrasound, is notoriously inaccurate for weight, they guessed Eleanor's weight at 9 lbs. 11 oz., almost Josh's exact birth weight.)

So, as you might guess, Kelly has so totally had it and is very sick of her midwifery practice. There is no continuity of care -- you see whoever you see -- and nobody seems to be able to read your chart before they see you. You have to explain yourself each time like you're a new patient. And, everyone comes up with a different number for dilation, effacement and baby's station. I know there is normal variance but you don't want to tell a woman she has gone backwards, do you????? It's stupid and it makes us very angry. It really is pitiful the quality of care and the choices available for birthing women in this country!

I know what Kelly would like best is if she would go into labor and have such a precipitous birth that she wouldn't even have to bother with the midwives. That being said, we just want labor to start -- and NOW! We feel like time is running out. Kelly does not want a medical induction and everything that entails. She does not want to be in a hospital, a place she doesn't trust, with people she doesn't trust. I wrote my wonderful midwife friend, Nancy Wainer, in Massachussetts who helped me with Kelly's birth all those years ago and we're supposed to call her today for some fresh ideas. What I wish is that I could just take Kelly up there and have Nancy attend the birth.

Sunday morning things were pretty depressing around here. Every morning when Kelly wakes up and realizes that she has ANOTHER DAY and no baby, it's just hard. So, crazy me suggested we go and spend one night at the Ritz Carlton in Sarasota. I figured it's only 2.5 hrs away (and how bad could it be to be born in the Ritz if there was a very quick birth!). So, I booked a room on the club level (if you've never been to the Ritz and stayed on the club level, you need to go!) and we went, with about 15 minutes notice. We had a great day there, sunning, swimming and enjoying wonderful food. I hoped a little bit of relaxation would help get her over the hump but she had a bad night in the hotel bed, so neither of us was rested the next morning. We were going to hang around until after lunch but Kelly couldn't change her midwife appointment to the afternoon so we left quickly after breakfast and were catapulted quickly back into real life, first with a call from Clint telling her he had gotten a speeding ticket, and then waiting around for a long time at first the midwife and then the imaging place for the ultrasound. By that time, the whole day was gone, all spent visiting "doctors"!

Eleanor, we are still planning for you to come into this world on your own power, so please, please get busy -- our time is running out ...

A+ on Her First Test

Kelly went to see the midwife, and Eleanor scored perfectly on her biophysical profile, so all is looking good. The midwife stripped her membranes (thoroughly) and recommended assorted other natural labor inducing activities to work on over the next few days. There's nothing she hasn't tried, but they feel that it can be a combination of things that will put her over the edge into active labor. Right now she is a stretchy four centimeters and 75 percent effaced, with baby at 0 station (engaged) so a lot of work has already been done. And, we wait ...

After the appointment, Kelly and I went back to Memories of India II for another unbelievable Indian lunch. I really could eat there every day. (Who knows, maybe I will!) I had the Chana Masala (chick peas) -- again -- but really I would be happy with any of the dishes on the lunch menu. After lunch we took a little walk around Target, more for the walking than the shopping.

Kelly got on the treadmill, used the breast pump, and all the other recommended things, and she was rewarded with some more painful contractions. A few hours after going to sleep, the contractions woke her and she really thought that was it, but after an hour or so they slowed and she was able to go back to sleep. We are all really getting a good lesson in patience! Hoping today will be the big day!!